Drift
by Merylchan92
Summary: Ryo Akiyama was never someone to stay permanently in one place. For all his easy smiles and friendly words, he also never was someone that let people come close. Growing restless he decides to try and fullfill the one purpose he has ever known while a certain redhead is none too happy about how he handles the situation. T for language, now multichapter with new title.
1. Anger (Ruki PoV)

Run

Ryo had always been the type of person to do things his own way. A way that somehow involved being extremely distant. Hard to handle digimon partner? Ryo takes off to another world and hopes it'll sort itself out in time. Friends? Doesn't make any, walks the earth, and lets his hair blow in the wind while he rides his dragon into the sunset. And if anything else comes up he just smiles it away like the insufferable idiot he is, hides himself behind his sparkling teeth and that annoingly perfect mask he always wears and forbids anybody to ever know what it really is he thinks and feels.

Well, a bad day for hero boy, because Ruki Makino knows him, and today she is having none of his shit.

Which is why he is facing her now at the airport, where he is planning to make a run for it yet again, while countless strangers walk past, oblivious to the impending quarrel.

And of course he smiles at her like that. That annoying overconfident half smirk that has aggravated her ever since her eyes fell on that face of his. And of course, and she often feels like she is the only one to see it, there is that wall behind the cyan of his irises. The one that is there to make sure no one knows what goes on in that half-empty space between his ears.

'Yo, you planning on going anywhere, wildcat?' She really wants to choke the life out of him as soon as she hears his voice and has him meet her gaze unflinchingly while he sits on his stupid suitcase, looking relaxed, the bastard.

Two high school girls stop and watch them for a moment, giggling. Ugh, probably thinking this is a lovers' quarrel.

'Nope, but you apparently are. Care to tell me what that's all about?'

He starts fidgeting uncomfortably. Good. He's also still smiling. Fuck him.

'Well I am listening. And I am convinced that you have a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you are leaving town. Out of the blue. Without telling someone. You know, like, your _friends_?' She takes extra care that her voice is soft yet piercing and laced with poison as she moves closer to him, not breaking eye contact.

She can see that her glare is making him uncomfortable but he keeps his damned charade up and smiles a little wider.

The girls move on whispering and giggling to each other. Good, this is awkward enough without an audience.

'Since you know I am here, I'm sure you know why.' Keeping that grin in place is hard on him. Ruki can tell and coming to a stand within reach of him clicks her tongue. 'I do have a vague summary. Akiyama is at home, Akiyama is bored, Akiyama sees something shiny in the distance, Akiyama plans to run off. How does that sound?'

'Awfully simplistic' he deadpans, which makes her want to wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze. Hard.

'Do be so kind and give me the full version then will you?'

They stare each other down for what feels like half an hour before he sighs.

'Well if you need to know, I believe the reports from the US. And I need to che-'

'Ah. And we don't since apparently you are the only one with a partner.' She glares at him again and it's making him visibly defensive.

'You know that's not what I meant, but the chances are slim, there is no need for all of us to go.'

He's bullshitting himself and her and it's making her angry. 'I thought you believe the reports?' If he thinks she's going to play along with him he has another thing coming. 'Your lies used to be smoother, if not by much, hero boy.'

Finally that god awful fake smile sinks and he frowns at her. 'I don't see why I owe you an explanation.' She struggles to keep her face straight. He's going for hurting her, huh? Fine.

'6 years, a lot of battles and our saving the world together would be my best guess as to why you owe me something, but whatever.' She crosses her arms over her chest and glares again. 'And now, pray tell, why should you go, and not someone else?'

He stares right back at her, unnervingly silent and utterly expressionless. 'Out of excuses, are we?' She prompts again, her skin starting to crawl from the silence between them. He looks down at his hands and she can hear him breathe in as if to gather his strength. He better talk now, or so help her...

'There is nothing here for me.'

Suddenly everything seems to slow down, the rush of her own blood in her ears is deafening, her whole body feels like lead.

'There is nothing here for me... so I should go.'

She looks at him and he looks up again, lips pressed together, waiting for a reaction. Something about her expression must have shocked him because his face falls and he rushes into an explanation.

'Jenrya has his family and his work, Takato has Juri and his job and now that his father is ill… Kenta and Kazu are working too and have their girlfriends, and you, you just patched things up with your mother, you even started modeling. All of you have your lives and families and each other… nobody here needs me, that's why I should go. If there is any truth to the reports you all can come, I swear I will inform you before… Ruki?'

She just looks at him and feels like she has never really seen him before, his words barely registering in her brain. This is the so-called legendary tamer, this _boy_ who can't even bring himself to tell his friends that he feels superfluous or say good-bye to them when he finally decides to leave. For how long had he been feeling that way? Was that why he always stayed just short of out of reach?

She knows he isn't a people person, neither is she. That was why she could relate and just figured that he wanted to have his privacy every once in a while. She didn't know that he really feels like he doesn't belong and a quiet voice in her head is telling her that she should have. She should have realized that his keeping to himself and maintaining contact only on a formal if friendly level wasn't him preserving his interest in being alone but him trying not to impose on them.

What a dope he is. A complete and utter _moron_. She wants to hit him, hard and often, until he gets it into his pea sized brain that he is a member of the club, part of the team, a friend for goodness sake!

But she doesn't. She doesn't and she won't. She just stares at him and feels a wave of incredible sadness wash over her as she looks into his blue eyes, past the wall and sees his worry, his loneliness, his doubts. So that is what the last 6 years between them amount to huh? Just as well. Without another word she walks past him, ignoring his pained expression. If pain and doubt and loneliness are everything he found in all this time with them then there is nothing Ruki can give him now.

Even as she feels his gaze drilling itself into her back she walks on, past countless strangers, out of the airport, and without ever feeling the warmth of the afternoon sun she slowly makes her way home


	2. Leaving (Ryo PoV)

Disclaimer (which I absolutely didn't forget last chapter): Characters are not mine. Plot, or lack thereof, and wording are.

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Ryo's POV

He has always liked airports. This is the main reason why he doesn't mind sitting on his suitcase for hours before his flight will start. The anticipation is part of the experience and the business of the place with hundreds of strangers off to a hundred destinations a hundreds of different reasons, always gives him a queer sense of belonging.

He leans back comfortably, watching the travelers, winking at a few passing high school girls, but mostly trying to keep a low profile. Nowadays that is actually possible, even 4 or 3 years ago he never would have been able to pull something like this without being recognized by _someone_. Sometimes he misses the perks of fame. Avoiding cues, easily getting a table at a restaurant, pricy freebies just for hanging out in certain shops. He had gotten used to all of that.

He is glad for his downgrading in celebrity today though, because it allows him to slip away unnoticed. He holds that thought for a second. Why does he want to get away without someone noticing so badly? It's not like someone could stop him. He is legally an adult and his motives are noble enough.

Not that he holds an awful lot of hope for his journey but it is the first lead in 6 years and he has to do something or he might just go crazy. Two days before he talked to Yamaki and he is sure the man hates him by now. Since Monodramon disappeared along with the other partners years ago, he regularly made his way from Kyushu to Tokyo to visit Hypnos and get reports. In the beginning the others would go with him but one or two years in most of them stopped, or only joined him occasionally. Or maybe he just felt that way because he had started to come more and more often as time went by and near daily since he moved to Shinjuku 7 months ago.

Whatever the reason, his persistence did pay off the last time he visited and Yamaki confirmed that the strange happenings in the US, which were all over the news lately, might indicate the opening of a new portal to the digital world. Yamaki warned him that the odds were really low, and that they should wait for more information before attempting anything.

He doesn't care. It's something and he is going to check it out sooner rather than later. He didn't tell any of the others, although a nagging voice in the back of his mind that sounds curiously like Jen has been telling him that he should. It's selfish of him but he knows they would slow him down. There would be discussions about how to proceed, they had family and work and school to sort out and frankly, he doesn't want to interrupt their lives for such a minor chance when he can check for himself quickly and quietly and be back before someone even notices. Or so he thought.

Damn, he would recognize that red hair anywhere. No suitcase or bag and obviously looking for something. Or someone. He is so screwed. The open hair and breezy light green summer dress are a dead give-away, she comes directly from a shoot. She must be really angry to disregard her intense dislike for the feminine, and all that anger will be poured over him as soon as he is spotted.

He calculates his chances of running and hiding, but it's too late, she has seen him and now she is approaching. He never thought someone could be that intimidating in a dress with a frilly hem. Silly him, he should have known that she could generate fear in anything she wore. Since hiding is out of the question he does the thing he always does when faced with something difficult. He gives her his most dazzling smile.

'Yo, planning on going anywhere wildcat?'

She obviously doesn't like it. Her eyes narrow in that way they always do when he opens his mouth and he is almost sure he can see the murderous intent in them.

'Nope, but you apparently are. Care to tell me what that's all about?' Never one to waste words. But although he has to admit that it is a fair point, he really _doesn't_ care about addressing it. He braces himself. Smile. This is going to be unpleasant but it will end at some point.

'Well I am listening. And I am convinced that you have a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you are leaving town. Out of the blue. Without telling someone. You know, like, your _friends_?'

She's coming closer now and seems even more annoyed. He notices a sweet fragrance she's emitting. Her mom apparently made her wear perfume, huh, that must have been one hell of a fight. He reminds himself that he _really_ should focus. This is already going to be awkward enough.

He intentionally smiles a bit wider, he knows she hates it when he does that. But maybe the disgust will remind her that she really doesn't care all that much about what he does, and she'll just leave him to his business.

'Since you know I am here, I'm sure you know why.' He offers carefully. God his cheeks hurt, even he doesn't smile that widely usually. Now she is standing directly in front of him, slightly towering over his sitting form und the fragrance is hitting him full force. Reminds him of cherries… or raspberries, it's a nice smell. She probably hates it, if he knows her the way he thinks he does.

They have been staring into each-others' eyes the whole time now, and he starts to feel his concentration slipping away again until she clicks her tongue.

'I do have a vague summary. Akiyama is at home, Akiyama is bored, Akiyama sees something shiny in the distance, Akiyama plans to run off. How does that sound?'

That hit annoyingly close to home, she knows him too well. He is not about to tell her that though. Too many ways of interpreting it that could potentially spook her away forever.

'Awfully simplistic' he deadpans instead. She is going to hate him for that and he sees a new wave of annoyance flare up in her violet eyes. Nothing he's not used to.

'Do be so kind and give me the full version then, will you?' She just won't let up, will she? After a staring contest he caves.

Sighing but not dropping the smile he starts. 'Well if you need to know. I believe the reports from the US and I need to che-'

'Ah. And we don't since apparently you are the only one with a partner.

He winces internally. Okay, bad move. In fairness he can't really see any good ones now, and with her it's always like navigating swampy ground in the dark.

'You know that's not what I meant, but the chances are slim, there is no need for all of us to go.' This in fact is the truth and maybe she will let up a bit now.

'I thought you believe the reports?' … or not. How much more hostile could her glare get? 'Your lies used to be smoother, if not by much, hero boy.' He can't say he is surprised. It's not like she has ever given him the feeling that she actually believes anything he says, outside of a fight and a few special occasions anyway.

It's suddenly making him angry and sad. He feels the smile drop and hears himself say something, while Jen's voice in his head is insistently but not quite convincingly enough telling him that shutting up right about now would be a smart thing to do.

'I don't see why I owe you an explanation.' Damn. He didn't want that. He sees her wince for a fraction of a second. That hurt, he is sure. But maybe it does the trick, maybe she'll glare at him, tell him to go to hell and stomp off, and they can go back to their usual relationship when he comes back.

'6 years, a lot of battles and our saving the world together would be my best guess as to why you owe me something, but whatever.'

And maybe he just is a delusional idiot. That's another point he has to hand to her. Damn her for being in the right on this issue!

'And now, pray tell, why should you go, and not someone else?' Fair question. Still hard to answer though. He looks at her, she's wearing make-up today, not much but it emphasizes the extraordinary color of her eyes, her lashes look longer too and her hair seems even more red than usual. Maybe it's because of the dress.

Whatever it is, she does look grown up, which might very well be because she's not the 10-year-old he beat at a card game all those years ago, anymore. She is almost an adult and as such, she deserves the truth.

'Out of excuses, are we?' She asks apprehension clear in her voice. Apparently the silence is getting to her as much as it is getting to him. He looks down at his hands, draws a deep breath and mentally hushes Jen's voice that is trying to tell him that this is a really bad idea.

'There is nothing here for me.'

He didn't expect it to be as physically painful as it is. He didn't expect to feel so much heavier all of a sudden. It is the real reason why he wants to leave, the reason why he has actually wanted to leave for a long time, but now, voicing it aloud, he hates that it's true.

'There is nothing here for me... so I should go.'

He repeats slowly, more for himself than for her and looks up to see her reaction, hoping she'll understand and let him go without a fuss. Then he feels like someone kicked him in the stomach.

He has seen that expression on the faces of countless digimon while they were dying. A mixture of pain, fear and something deeper, something that quite clearly said that they couldn't believe it ends like this. And then his tongue over-takes his brain.

'Jenrya has his family and his work, Takato has Juri and his job and now that his father is ill…'

Anything, anything to make that expression go away

'Kenta and Kazu are working too and have their girlfriends and you, you just patched things up with your mother, you even started modeling.'

They are all doing fantastic in their lives, her especially, they shouldn't disturb what they have built over a flicker of light in the distance.

He notices how her expression slowly changes but is too involved in his own reasoning to stop.

'All of you have your lives and families and each other… nobody here needs me, that's why I should go. If there is any truth to the reports you all can come, I swear I will inform you before…'

He trails of. Her face is free of the emotion that just gave him half a heart attack. He should be glad. He wants to be glad but now she just looks at him like he is some sort of animal she's never seen before. First astonishment then recognition and then understanding show across her face. It's freaking him out.

'Ruki?'

No answer. That's even more unsettling. She continues to study him and for a moment the understanding turns to anger and he half expects to be hit before the expression goes away. What follows is the last thing he ever wants to see on anyone's face when it's about him. He can handle anger, annoyance and contempt, but this, this is a hundred times worse.

Pity.

She looks at him sadly, but that is what her eyes ultimately convey. She pities him, and he doesn't even know why. It has him tongue-tied. All he can do is stare at her as her violet eyes seize him up with that look that's making him feel worthless, it's still all he can do when she walks past him, and it's all he can do long after he can't even see her anymore.

When his flight is called out it takes him minutes to gather his bearings. In the end he has to rush, but even so every movement seems mechanical, all thoughts seem to have vanished.

Later, settled in his seat at a window, he closes his eyes. When the thoughts slowly come back it's Jen's voice he hears first. It tells him that he shouldn't be sitting here, that he can't let the situation stand like this. He hushes the voice again and tries to convince himself that it will be alright, he will find that portal, they will go to the digital world, they will find their partners and he will sort out himself and Ruki.

Neither he nor Jen's voice quite believe it.

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A/N: This is it. For now anyway. If I get in the mood I might write more for this pairing because I think they have an interesting dynamic. Reviews are very much appreciated.


	3. Cool down (Ruki PoV)

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, weren't, aren't, won't be and that's making me terribly sad. Plot or lack thereof however belongs to me. Read and enjoy. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you.

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Cool down

When Ruki comes home, everything is silent. Nothing uncommon, the house is large enough to swallow the noise of a dozen people, even if only three live here. A quick check through the living room and kitchen reveals that she is in fact alone. Secure in this knowledge she goes to her room, closes the door, leans against it and screams in frustration.

She had actually let him get to her. God this was so stupid! She wanted to stop him, and failed. How annoying. Jen always sais she's too impulsive. Why does she forever follow her gut reactions when she knows how irrational they can be sometimes?

Just a second, if she had just managed to pull herself together for a second she could have slapped him across the face and dragged him off to his flat. She could have gotten everyone together, they would have given him a talk about integrity and soon enough they would all follow the leads, together.

But she didn't and it's too late now. Heroboy is on his way, alone, exactly the way he planned it. She isn't even sure if it annoys her more that he got away or that he got the best of her again.

In fact she isn't even sure why she was that angry in the first place. It's not exactly like she is entitled to status reports from him. Probably it's just his complete disregard for any of them that rubs her the wrong way. They all want to see their partners again, and he doesn't have a right to keep information from them.

She grabs one of her pillows and wrings it in her hands. So in the beginning she didn't like how he handled the situation, but now it seems graver. Did he just say what he said to get her off his case, did he know that he could throw her of kilter this way? She remembers his face, frowns and decides that it's unlikely.

The only other solution she can think of is that he actually meant it, and that still makes her want to throw up, or better yet throw something, preferably at him. She noticed that he isn't as connected as he tries to appear. He doesn't have friends other than them even though he's generally well liked. He seems unable to hold a job down for more than a few months and his relationships usually are ended for him a few weeks in. She noticed all this; she just never thought that it's this bad.

Although she figures that she maybe shouldn't be surprised. Throwing away his whole life on the spur of a moment and without a backwards glance seems to be his thing. He did it before after all. She tosses the pillow away and grabs her phone, halfway through dialing Jen's phone number she remembers that he is taking some tests for a prestigious IT program he wants to get into and probably wouldn't want to be disturbed for a few days.

She really wants to tell him everything about her glorious failure, but she knows he'd worry, so she doesn't. Instead she decides to call Juri.

'Hello?' Her voice is altogether too cheery. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.

'Yeah, hi it's me.' 'Oh Ruki, hi, how's it going? Did you hear about Ry..?' Definitely not a good idea. 'Yeah, I heard. Yamaki called all of us as soon as he found out that heroboy bought tickets.'

'Oh right. Well, it's great isn't it? There is a chance that you can see Renamon again.' Ruki is a bit disappointed by that reaction. Is she the only one that thinks Ryo is wrong in what he does?

'Yeah, I guess if we are lucky, and there actually is a portal, we all could see our partners again' 'And Culumon and Impmon. Takato was so exited when he called me; I bet the customers wonder what he's so happy about.' Ruki can imagine that. Gogglehead isn't exactly the master of his emotions or his facial expressions. She can practically see him, being all giddy and smiling so cheerfully that it's uncanny.

They are silent for a moment, and Ruki is once again surprised how well Juri has adjusted. 6 years ago she didn't think that she could ever discuss the digital world at all with the other girl. Let alone have a casual chit-chat about it.

'I want to join you, when there is a portal, you know?' Ruki blinked, did she just really hear that? 'Uh, sure of course, if you want to.' There's laughter at the other end. 'No need to be so confused. I haven't told Takato yet. His dad is still getting better and you know how he can sometimes worry about stuff endlessly. I didn't want to load anything more on him as long as nothing is concrete. Can you believe that he still tiptoes around the topic?'

Ruki can actually; Takato's the King of awkward sidestepping on subjects that he considered to be potentially offensive. Especially where Juri is concerned. Ruki guesses that he has never completely gotten over what happened to her back then. 'It was his home, I want to learn more about it.'

Now that's a side Ruki had never quite considered. But it's right in line with the way Juri would think. She lost someone, but she will be damned if she doesn't hold on to the things and memories that remain. It was one of those things she admires about Juri, that she learned to let go of things and people she loved and lost without shutting herself against every mention and memory.

Ruki herself always aims for a clean and above all complete break. She never thinks about her father anymore who left them, or her grandfather who died. Remembering is painful and talking about it impossibly so. That's also the reason her mother and grandmother don't talk about them, the first few times when they tried Ruki fled the house with her hands pressed on her ears. Spending the whole evening and better part of the night searching for a run-away six-year-old taught her family not to try again.

Remembering Renamon is just as bad, but at least there is a chance to see her again. She remembers how she shouted at Ryo 5 years ago, when he asked her if she had been to Jen's yet to record her message. Back then slivers of hope felt like knives biting into her flesh. After all this time the knives have dulled somewhat, but she never managed to be as casual about it as the others.

'Ruki?' Damn she spaced out again 'Yeah, I'm still here. I see what you mean. And of course you can come, Takato won't mind.' She hears a snort from the other end and grins. 'Seriously? I think he will kick up a major fuss about this. Not that it'll help him. I'm going.'

Ruki laughs softly although she knows how that relationship works. Juri has been the one in charge of decisions ever since she gave tradition the finger 4 and a half years ago and told Takato what was what. On that day they upgraded their friendship to a relationship, and then proceeded to be thoroughly disgusting with the lovebird stuff for two years.

Ruki thanks God every day that they stopped with the pet names and the clinginess and the neediness and the late night gushing. She genuinely loves Juri like a sister, but one more call at two a clock in the morning about 'how wonderful her sweetie is and how beautiful their date has been and how their future together shines like stars in the night sky' and there would have been a funeral.

'We'll be glad to have you; if there will be anything anyway.' 'I'm sure it will, I have this gut feeling that something good will happen. I'm sorry, my dad needs me in the restaurant. We'll talk later, okay?' 'Sure, bye.' 'Bye-bye'. As she hangs up she smiles and thinks that she was wrong before, talking to Juri had been a brilliant idea.

She grabs for her bag just to notice it's not there. Damn, where did she put it? Then it occurs to her that it's still with her mom at the photographer's. Yamaki called her mobile phone during the shoot, and she called back during a break. Everything after that is a bit of a blur.

She dimly remembers throwing the phone into her bag when she was asked to continue with the shoot. Whatever happened then she can just remember as colours without shapes. She doesn't know if she did well or what the photographer asked of her. The next thing that is a bit clearer is that she took a taxi to the airport. She doesn't remember how she paid for it. She doesn't even remember changing.

She looks down and groans in frustration, she hadn't changed. And it just had to be this shoot didn't it? It couldn't have been one with pants and cool shirts she actually likes. No it absolutely had to be a dress. Damn Ryo for throwing her off enough that she didn't even notice. She murmers curses as she strips the dress off and slips into something she is actually comfortable wearing and leans her head against the cool doorframe.

The bastard actually made her go all about town in a dress. When she gets her hands on him there will be hell to pay.

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A/N: So apparantly I'm making this into a longer story after all. I changed the title too, and might change it again. Feel free to review or not to review, or whatever it is you want to do. Try not to be mean though, thank you.


	4. Reflection (Ryo POV)

**A/N: ***Gasp* What's that? An update? Yes. Yes it is. I finally got around to doing this. It's mostly introspection and it probably sucks in all sorts of ways. But I happen to like it. If you like it too you are very welcome to review or pm me. Really, reviews just make me feel all warm and tingly inside.

On that note: A giant thanks to **Lusankya**, **regeris **and **Cynia **for their lovely comments.

On another note: I still don't own anything, and am not making any profit with this. (Not that I could with my rather poor skills but whatever)

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Reflection

It's not a nice place by any stretch of the imagination.

A small grey room, uncomfortable bed, window going out on a dark, dirty alleyway, broken beside lamp and wallpapers that could have used a change about a decade ago. And man is Ryo happy to collapse on the scratchy blanket.

Since he stepped of his plane 5 weeks ago he has had a lot of encounters with places like this; dark, dingy, ugly - and he just loves it. He has been all other the country hitchhiking to about a dozen places where strange things had happened or were seen recently. The device that Yamaki had once shown him on one of his visits as a means to discover portals to the digital world (and that had _somehow_ found its way into his backpack on his last visit) didn't react even in one of them so far.

Surprisingly enough, he doesn't mind in the slightest that his quest seems to be futile. He feels more elated and energetic than he has in a very long time, and best of all there still are plenty of clues to follow, lots of places to check out. Which is the reason he is here now, in this tiny motel, in this really small town along the highway.

He came here following a lead he got while waiting tables at a café to keep himself afloat in the last city he stayed at. Apparently there have been earthquakes and sightings of 'monsters' around this area, which seemed to disappear into nothingness as suddenly as they materialized out of it. It sounded incredible promising, even more so because it seems to have gone on for quite a while now. Maybe, if Lady Fortuna is watching out for him, he will actually find something this time.

He knows he has to look like a total lunatic with the grin he feels he is sporting at the moment, but he can't really help it and is just really glad that no one is there to see.

If he finds a portal he can find Cyberdramon again, he can go back and help his partner. Better, he can help all of his friends and reunite them with _their_ partners. They can have another adventure and maybe Ruki will even find it in her to forgive him over the joy of having Renamon back in her life.

Boy how he wishes she will. He can't say he is unhappy with how things are going right now, but the last expressions he saw on her face just keep haunting him, and combined with Jen's voice in his head that keeps telling him he is an idiot and one that did something especially stupid to boot, the memories from the airport just unnerve him.

Sometimes he even dreams of the look she gave him before parting. It always leaves an unpleasant feeling with him when he wakes up. Unpleasant, but not as distracting as it could have been. After all red hair and violet eyes had started to make appearances in his dreams years ago. Soon after they met in the digital world, actually. It had all been innocent enough for the longest time and then Ruki hit puberty, hard.

He isn't sure if she really was a late bloomer, if he was just really oblivious or if it was the tomboy image that kept him from realizing just how beautiful she actually is until she was 15 years old. By then she had her first boyfriend and it was very obvious that she was taking after her mother in looks. Model material, runway gold, the perfect cover girl. Except that she didn't care for any of it.

Not that that did stop her from looking the part. Since then she has always been stunning in just about anything she wears, and the few times he saw her in shorts or in her school uniform the sheer perfection of her legs did things to him that he is embarrassed about even in the privacy of his own thoughts.

He likes to blame it on the fact that he didn't see her that often at the time and the transition just appeared to him like it had happened overnight. But even then he was a few years older than her and not new at all to girls, relationships or lust. Frankly it still freaks him out somewhat just how susceptible 18-year-old old he was to a 15-year-old Ruki Makino.

So for a while her rather obvious beauty and unattainability in tandem with his rampant teenage hormones were doing a number on him and turned his perfectly innocent and platonic dreams into something that would get him thrown out of polite company if it was known.

With time he got so used to those nightly visits that he could suppress their effects during the day and in her company, until his improper thoughts and wishes were just a faint buzz in the back of his mind: Ever present but not impairing him. The dreams however, stayed.

Of the seven girlfriends he had since his epiphany none could free his mind of the fierce violet gaze that had captivated it, no matter how much he actually did like them. He was sure they noticed and that that was the reason they broke up with him after just a few weeks, although he did his best to be a good boyfriend.

It has frustrated him for a while now, and to make matters worse telling the object of the strongest affection he's ever had for anyone is far out of the question. Call him a coward but it just isn't something he sees himself doing anytime soon. Because as much as he wishes it was different, he knows there isn't really room for him in her life.

Sure, she had boyfriends, so the concept isn't alien to her, but when it comes to him she has never shown even the slightest bit of interest, not in any way and certainly not in _that way_. In fact although she tolerates him for the sake of their adventures and mutual friends he is well aware that she can barely stand him even on a good day.

It's upsetting. So upsetting in fact that he sometimes practically can feel how he transforms into a love-sick six-year old on the playground that throws sand in his crush's hair to get a reaction, any reaction. So upsetting that any attention he gets from her without provocation makes something within him bask and gloat in the illusion that maybe there could be more.

The way it does when he thinks about the scene at the airport. It's not easy to divorce his mind from how badly he handled that, but when he manages he, without fail, is flooded with a warm feeling that flows to and fro from one thought: She came to stop me.

He knows it was because she felt he betrayed her trust, the trust of the whole group, because he doesn't have any right to do this alone, because it's something they are all in together and _not_ because of anything special between him and her. But even though he knows all that, he can't help himself, the idea that she rushed to him the second she knew he was leaving sets off an army of butterflies in his stomach.

She was actually there because of him, and then he went and said the wrong things and fucked it all up. It seems to be the thing he does best whenever she is involved. He covers his face with his hands. He really shouldn't be thinking about this, not only is it very likely to ruin his mood, it also isn't productive or helpful. He should be focusing on the right now and find that portal. Everything would sort itself out when he could just do that.

Sleep comes easy, since he was on the road all day long. Tranquility born from a purpose he has so long lacked engulfs him, an impression of fiery hair and intense amethyst eyes never quite leaving his mind as he drifts off under the pale moonlight shining in through the dirty window.

* * *

The next morning he gets up early. It's a nice, warm day out when he starts his systematic search through the area. There really isn't a lot out here, stones, dry grass, a few ruins and a farm somewhere in the distance. From the owner of the motel he gathers that the man himself has seen the apparitions for the first time about two months ago.

Back then he hadn't trusted his senses and it took a few weeks' worth of what appeared to be illusions, three patrons and an earthquake to convince him, that yes, there was indeed something afoot. Unfortunately he can't do much except point Ryo in the direction these 'monsters' usually seemed to appear from.

It's enough of a start for him anyway. So off he goes with his trusty portal radar (that's how he calls it because he really can't be bothered to remember the lengthy name Yamaki bestowed on the little thing), and starts walking down the area in straight lines in hopes of picking up a signal.

The morning's work doesn't yield any findings except that the ruins trn out to be a large group of half collapsed houses. In the shadow of a ruin still proclaiming 'Sheriff' in bold letters on a fallen down board he eats his modest lunch and grins at the idea of finding something here. A ghost town reuniting him with the phantoms of his past; now wouldn't that be amazing.

After refreshing himself he sets to work again. It's another two hours before the goddess of luck smiles down on him and his little helper starts beeping near a completly collapsed building. He starts to clear the rubble at once and the more boards and stones he removes the louder the beeping gets.

His heart is beating fast, adrenalin is shooting through his body, this is it. He finally found something. Everything would be alright soon. The idea is so powerful, so energizing that he doesn't even feel the weight of boulders and boards, of stone slabs and wooden plates he moves to the side. Even so there is a lot of rubble and he is alone, which makes for slow progress.

In the end the stars take over the sun's watch over his work and it's not before the moon illuminates his face splitting grin in full force from above, that he wipes out his phone, (which, wonders of wonders, actually does get a signal out here) presses speed dial and holds it to his ear.

Not even once do his eyes wander from the shining, moving lights he just uncovered.

* * *

**A/N:** Here you go. One chapter full of introspection and with very little plot advancement because I'm lame like that and actually kind of like it that way. If you do too, I suggest you let me know via reviews or pm :) If you don't that's fine too, and you may inform me about that too, just be nice and polite and respectful, all that stuff, you know?

Anyway, thanks for reading and have a nice day/week/month/year/life :D


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